Fear. Anger. Despair. Alienation. Sadness. Rage. Disappointment. Anxiety. Confusion.
I could go on. In the past 48 hours or so, I’ve personally experienced these emotions and more. I’ve wept and wondered how we arrived at this place. A moment where we were on the precipice of history in electing an exceptionally qualified woman of color to the highest office in the land, only to be gut punched and left mourning what could have been in the wake of a painful loss.
For me, it traces back to 2020. In the immediate aftermath of the murder of George Floyd, we heard the loud echo of institutional promises made around racial and gender equality, particularly when it comes to Black and brown communities. High-profile companies and organizations banded together to declare their solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement. And there was a sharp uptick in the creation of Chief Diversity Officer (CDO) roles as it became the C-suite title with the fastest hiring growth in 2020 and 2021.
For a brief period, it felt like the most powerful forces in the U.S. were taking steps to address the environments that have allowed structural racism and inequity to thrive for decades.
Even then, I still saw signs that concerned me. Some of these actions on the part of corporate America felt genuine, while others left me questioning if their actions were all platitudes and facades. I wrote about the need for a deeper understanding of institutional racism to set up CDOs for success. And since then, we’ve seen the slow dismantlement of diversity, equity and inclusion programs across political, corporate, and educational institutions – all of which disproportionately impact Black women. The anti-DEI movement has led to some CDO roles being eliminated, while others in the position have resigned due to lack of support.
But this arch goes far beyond one high-visibility role. For many Black women, excellence is simply not enough to combat the “anti-woke” backlash. To be qualified, educated, and competent is not enough to feel belonging in a toxic political and corporate landscape. Having an impeccable resume and astute judgement is not enough to escape the never-ending need to prove our worth to capitalistic forces.
The confluence of these tensions is one reason why many of us are reeling from the rejection of a proven, successful, and battle-tested Black and Asian American woman like Vice President Harris.
This moment is emblematic of what many of us feel every day – the pressure to outperform mediocre counterparts while keeping our composure and exuding joy all at the same time.
The urge to keep fighting for our values despite disillusionment is noble and necessary. However, the superwoman complex will shatter us if we let it. As Tricia Hersey wrote in Rest is Resistance, “The way we hold ourselves and others to the lie of urgency is white supremacy culture and we will never be able to rest or be liberated from oppression while we are honoring and aligning with it.”
My plea to all women who are in pain right now – including Vice President Harris – is to take the time we need to grieve and sit with our emotions. We must lean on our calming devices such as meditation, friendships, and art, to see our way through to the next fight. See your therapist if needed. Nourish your mind and soul with reading and writing. Dance to your favorite albums and playlists. Indulge in self pleasure. Re-watch a funny show or movie. Cry if you need to, as much as you need to. For me, writing this blog post is therapeutic.
No emotion is too extreme or unjustified. And there is no time limit to adhere to when it comes to feeling your feelings. Most importantly – and this is a reminder for me, too – we must rest. Not because we need to function for the unrelenting capitalist hamster wheel, but because it is our right as divine beings.
It’s time to put down our capes for a while – because as much as Black women have worked to achieve more equitable outcomes, we must realize that it is impossible for us to do the work alone without the support of allies. It is not our sole responsibility to save the union. It’s time for others to look inward and explore why it seems so many are complicit in the widespread misogyny and xenophobia that have led us to this point.
We are warriors because it’s been necessary for our survival. The issues will still be here when we are ready to tackle them. But for now, let’s put down the heavy weights and give ourselves grace and love. Because as the legendary author bell hooks wrote in Yearning: Race, Gender, and Cultural Politics, “True resistance begins with people confronting pain… and wanting to do something to change it.”
With love and solidarity,
-Nicole B.
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